This is probably going to be the article most vital to us for the next few months. We are entering a time within the Christian EDM scene where we are making the biggest strides we have ever made. That in itself is awesome and in some cases, shocking after the past five years or so of pain and suffering. In order to keep moving forward, it is important that we constantly examine and reexamine the things we have done in the past for possible ways to improve them. The purpose of this article is three fold. First, it will explain what criticism really is. Second, it will talk about how to give it properly. Third, and actually most importantly, it will discuss how to receive it because how we receive criticism effects the effectiveness of it.

What is Criticism?

There is criticism and constructive criticism. Criticism has mostly been portrayed to us as negative comments that are meant to hurt or destroy. Constructive criticism has been portrayed as a way to point out weaknesses in a manner that people will accept and be able to improve themselves. The main definition of criticism is: to express one's views as to the merit or demerit of (Dictionary.com). There is neither an inherent good nor bad to this term. It is simply the discussion of something’s effectiveness, value and so on. Constructive criticism is of more use than just criticism because it offers a solution. The problem is that not every critic has the solution to the problem or even an idea of how to attempt solving it. Thus, even criticism that does not offer a solution must be considered.

In giving criticism, there is an aspect called tact. Tact is defined as: Acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending. In talking to someone about their latest creation, which is not very good, you could tell a person “I think it is not your best work.” You could also tell them “I think it is horrible and the worst thing I have ever seen.” Both are valid forms of criticism and neither one is really wrong because they are both true. The difference is tact. Tact is important. We should try not to offend others with our words. However we need to face facts here, not everyone possesses tact and they may not be as tactful as we would like or expect them to be when offering criticism. Also, some people will be offended no matter what you say or how you say it.

The lack of tact does not mean that any expression of criticism offered in such a manner is not valid. There is also a point when using tact is not an effective means of gaining a person’s attention. A good example of this would be if someone is about to start a fire near a barrel of gas or a large box of fireworks. On its most basic level, even “Hey idiot! Get out of here! You’ll blow us up!” is criticism. To say to that person “Excuse me, but I think you may want to rethink where you are starting that fire” would be more polite, but would not result in the guy changing his actions as quickly. Tact is a valuable tool, but like all tools, it is only made to perform a limited number of tasks. A half inch wrench will not undo a quarter inch bolt no matter how much I want it to nor will I be able to pull a nail with a phillips head screwdriver.

At this point, it is probably important for me to let you know what makes me an expert when it comes to criticism. The short answer is I basically have a degree in the subject. Not literally, but a large portion of my graphic design degree was spent both on the giving and receiving end of critiques. In my eight years of college (I got married and worked full-time during those eight years … so no wise cracks), I would sit through an average of 8-12 hours worth of critics a week. I currently work as a web designer for the University I attended. There, I spend about 1-5 hours in critiques per week with clients and co-workers. Together, I have probably spent more than 2,000 hours either giving or receiving criticism. Criticism is a very hard thing to take and yet so easy to give. I know, I had to learn, and considering I was the kid that always got picked on and was bullied from about first grade through tenth grade I really had a hard time taking it.

The next part of this article is dedicated to the easy part of giving criticism. I am just going to spell it out in a list form and offer examples as I go. I hope this will help give us guidelines on what is acceptable and what is not. It is important however that you finish reading this article and apply both the giving and taking points or any criticisms you are involved with will collapse into chaos.

10 Simple Steps for Giving Criticism

1. Never be afraid to say what you think. Be Honest. The only way you will get your point across is if you say it. In the process, you may sound silly, but more than likely, you will not. In fact, chances are that others have thought about what you want to say already and are afraid, like you, to actually say it. If nobody opens their mouths, there will be no discussion of the issues. Just remember that in most cases, you will be addressing something that someone may feel very personal about.
2. Attack the issue, not the person. Do your best to keep the criticism and the ensuing debate (if there is any) focused on the issue rather than the person. Are people involved? Yes. Will you have to mention their names and ask them questions? Yes. Is that attacking the person? No. It is not attacking the person so long as you are asking them in direct relation to the issue you are addressing. Remember, you are addressing an issue, not personally attacking someone.
3. Try to be tactful whenever possible. It really is not a good idea to offend the person that you have an issue with. If possible, use tact. In fact, try to be tactful first. In cases where others have been tactful before and the issue remains unchanged, that would be a clear example of when tact has proven to not work and you should be verbally stronger. But for first approaches, tactfulness is the way to go.
4. Remember that not everyone thinks like you. That might be hard to believe, but not only does the world not revolve around you, but not everyone thinks like you either. The very proof of this is that you feel you have to offer criticism to someone. If you thought alike, the other person would have already put your comments into action before you confront them.
5. Some people are more visual than others. Be as descriptive as you possibly can be in your criticism. The more information you can provide the other person, the more likely they will be able to understand what your point is and be able to respond to it better. Sometimes this will help them to side with you, other times; it will help them to decide not to. Regardless, remember what your end goal is…
6. Your end goal is to help them improve. Your end goal is not to force them to think like you. You are only doing this to help them be better at whatever you are criticizing. If you are trying to make them think like you, then you are really attacking the person and not the issue at hand. Always remember that you are trying to help them become even better at what they are doing.
7. Know when to ease up. Sometimes you can come on to strong and the person you are dealing with needs time to think about the issues. Give them that time. That will show that you respect them and really do want the best for them. Recognize when the person is frustrated and back off a bit. It will help keep things from falling apart.
8. When your criticism is rejected, unless you have a good counter argument, concede the point. Sometimes, despite our wonderful ideas, the person you are criticizing has already thought through your point before you brought it up. In such a case, the person will have a reason for not agreeing with you and you should respect that. Not only that, but that person’s reason for not accepting your criticism may really counter it. There is no need to force someone to do something that they know will not work.
9. When you do cross the line and attack the person rather than the issue, apologize. Just do it. The effects of a personal attack can last a long time. They are not worth it.
10. Know when to quit. Sometimes people just need time to think things through. Other times people are simply too stubborn to change. If your goal in the criticism was to get that person to change, let it go if they do not. If your goal was to bring an issue that affect more than just that person, then let it go as well, at least for a little while. You succeeded in raising the issue publicly when you voiced your opinion. It may take multiple debates to bring around this kind of change.

Believe it or not, that was the easy part. Now it is time for the hard part: receiving criticism. Sometimes this can be easy, but if you have had trouble accepting criticism in the past, you know it can also be very difficult. Hopefully, these next ten steps can help you in that.

10 Simple Steps for Receiving Criticism

1. The target is not you, it is the issue. No matter how tactless the person offering criticism come on to you, their beef is with an issue and not you. You are not perfect and may have actually made a mistake or not done as well as you had thought. Even if you have not, the person criticizing you could learn from the reasons why you did what you did and you should share them.
2. Take a deep breath and do not respond in anger. Just because someone asks you a question from out of nowhere, you do not have to respond immediately. If they honestly want to know the answer, they can wait a few seconds, minutes or even a day or so. This is especially true on message boards. Do not take too long, but do take some time to think and calm down first if you need to.
3. Consider for a moment that the criticism is valid. It just might be. Even if you felt that you did everything right, you still could have done things better. The only person who does not need to do this is God. No one else is perfect.
4. The end result is to help you, not hurt you. Most people have better things to do with their lives than to hunt you down and tear you apart. Those who are questioning your actions more than likely either want to help you improve or want to understand why you chose to do what you did.
5. Try to be tactful whenever possible in your response. Like with the critic, you need to be tactful whenever possible. If the line of questioning is really out of line, maybe tact should not be your main concern. Actually, if that is the case, not responding maybe a good response.
6. Attack the issue, not the person. Again, this is a two way street. In your response, keep it on target. Your response should not address the person’s own problems, but respond to the issue that was raised. Deal with this first.
7. Do not confuse the matter now and do not let this turn into a slugfest. If you do have issues with something your critic does, address it later. If you criticize an issue that you have with your critic without bringing closure to his issue first, things could degenerate quickly into an unproductive slugfest.
8. Try to discuss the issue in a way that will help you get the information you need to improve. Some criticism comes with everything you need: the issue, the criticism and the solution. Sometimes, all you get is the criticism. You need to discuss things with your critic until you have everything: the issue, the criticism, and at least a possible solution to the matter. If you cannot get those three things, then the critique has been a failure on both sides.
9. Be willing to put some time into this. If the end result is really to help you improve, then the critique is worth engaging in. It may take a few minutes, a few hours, or even a few days, but in the end, even if you do not change your mind, you will be better for it. If you change your mind, great. You learned how to do something better. If you do not change your mind, you learned that you did the right thing and that you could defend it. Both are equal in their value.
10. Take it in stride. Not everyone is going to agree with the way you do things. You also will not always get to pick and choose your critics, criticism and when critiques happen. That is just a part of life. In the end, the only thing that matters is your relationship with God. Keep your eyes, mind and heart focused on that. Who knows, the critique could either be God trying to help you to grow or God using you to help others to grow.

There you have it. 20 steps for giving and receiving criticism are now in your hands ready to be used. I do not think that these are the only steps out there. I do not think that these are even rules that must be followed. I just know that these steps will help you to be more effective in both giving and receiving criticism. If we consistently put these to use, we should be able to peacefully discuss just about any topic within the Christian EDM scene and beyond.