Brian Scroggins. Just his name evokes so many thoughts and emotions in my mind. I remember walking around Gwinnett Place Mall in 1994 on a Friday night like I did most weeks. I was only 18 at the time. I had recently discovered Christian techno and I was hooked. I had already purchased Jyradelix, Prodigal Sons’ Texnotheology, the first Raving Loonatics and a few others, but what I remember about that night was that I had just purchased Manic Panic, Prophecy of P.A.N.I.C.’s first album. I remember being especially excited about one little line in the CD booklet “Essentially ’95… Raving Loonatics – 2nd Coming.” I had loved the first Raving Loonatics and the idea of a second just captured my mind.

I played Manic Panic for years. It quickly became a favorite of mine. To me, this was some of the best techno music you could find on the market, that it was also written and created by Christians only helped to suck me in further. I didn’t find the second Prophecy of P.A.N.I.C. CD, Soul:Reactivtor, until a few years after it had been released. I even had to special order it. Soul:Reactivtor inspired me even more and by 1998, I started to produce my own techno because I wanted to be like Brian Scroggins and his partner in crime Daniel Somboonsiri.

I was a fan.

In 2000, this thing called the Internet had evolved to the point where online communities could exist and thrive. I had been producing for about two years by then. N*Soul at the time was still doing their Eclectica compilation series and was gearing up to do a fourth. I submitted a track called Searching for You and was selected to be a part of the project. At the encouragement of Doug Theodore, I decided to create an independently released CD single with remixes by various Christian EDM artists. Among those who wanted a shot at remixing this track was Brian Scroggins. To this day, I am still amazed and honored that he took time out to remix a track by me that in all honesty wasn’t that hot of a track.

From that point on we would occasionally share various technical opinions. Brian always had some to offer. He also constantly reminded me that the only way my sound would improve is if I would invest in some real analog gear rather than softsynths. To this day, I’m ignoring that.

In one moment, I became a colleague.

Two years later, I made my second trip to the Cornerstone Music Festival. Brian and Daniel were both there performing separately. I had the opportunity to watch a master on stage run an unholy number of synthesizers and sequencers by himself. I watched him create and combine loops and rhythms on the fly. I watched him tweak knobs, stretch across a crowded table top and press a button. His hands never stopped and he never looked out of control. It wasn’t until much later that I realized that the look of control was really a look of confidence that the addition of a little chaos would create a better product in the end. The air of total control was simply an illusion. This went on and on for over an hour and is one of a few events I play back in my mind from time to time.

I wasn’t only back to being a fan, but I felt so inferior.

At some point in our friendship, Brian told me something that stuck with me. He said that when Manic Panic came out, he and Daniel were on tour. The only thing was, they didn’t have a clue on how to reproduce what they had created live. It was an impossibility. So, instead of a canceling the tour, Scott Blackwell traveled with them and well… mixed two copies of their album together from back stage. After the tour or maybe even during it, Brain swore that he would never do that again. It wasn’t authentic to him and he felt like he was cheating. That was the start of his Live PA. As far as I know, Brain traveled throughout the United States after that performing everything live from then on.

Brian and I got to spend almost every day together that week at Cornerstone. We ate together. We left to use the real restrooms at either Hardees or Burger King. We talked about several spiritual things and we well… talked about how wrong the vibe was during one night at the barn. Not just wrong, but how it actually felt evil that night. It was creepy.

The weirdest moment of the week for me was over dinner one night. Brian and I were sitting at one of the picnic tables in the food court. A few others had joined us and we were just talking about music and various other things. Everyone knew who Brain was, but I was pretty much unknown, or so I thought. I believe Brian asked the last guy who joined us who he wanted to see at the festival. The guy responded “I really want to meet Redsavior. Do you know he’s going to be here?” Brain just pointed to me and said something to the effect of “Yeah, that’s him.” The guy literally fell out of his seat. Everybody at the table got a good laugh over that.

After that week, I knew I was Brian’s friend.

In the years since then, Brian and I have kept in contact off and on. I’m terrible at long distance relationships. Add in a three hour time difference and several thousand miles rather than a few dozen and well… at times, I’m non-existent. We would have chats about various issues on Tastyfresh.com. He would always challenge me about the Spiritual Debate rule even knowing how so many people on the site only wanted to bicker about things that didn’t even matter. We talked about the dangers of Rick Warren’s politics and a host of other issues. At some point during every phone call we had, he would always chastise me for not using hardware synths. It was almost like a family tradition that we both loved.

Brian had become a part of my small family of musical mentors and spiritual role models.

And speaking of love, if anything ever popped up in our conversations more than anything else, it was the love and dedication he had for his family. And that brings me to why I have been writing this.

As many of you already know, Brian was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor behind his eyes in May of 2006. He firmly believed that God was going to save him from this disease. Over the course of the next twenty months, he fought it with all of his might. Several times it looked as though the mass was getting smaller and he was winning the battle with God’s help, but late last year another mass was discovered. In November 2007, both tumors seemed to be responding well to treatment. By January of this year, however he was given two months to live. The treatment had stopped being effective.

At this point I don’t know what to write other than Brian Scroggins passed away today and is with the LORD.

Today. This week. This month. This year. I morn.

Daniel posted in the forums earlier this week that Brian’s main concern during his final days was not whether or not he would go to Heaven; he knew he was secure in God’s promise of salvation through Jesus. His concern was regarding his belief that he had misrepresented God by telling everyone that he believed that he would be healed by God. That was the Brian I knew; faith like a rock and always concerned that he did the thing that would honor God. There is no doubt to me where he is tonight and that is something worth celebrating.

Why didn’t God do what Brian thought he would? I don’t know. I don’t. I do know that all things work for the good of those who love the LORD. I also know that Brian fought the good fight and now, he has finished the race. Without him, many of us would not be part of a Christian community of EDM lovers today. We would not have been inspired as producers and DJs. We would not have been as dedicated prayer warriors as we are today if we did not have Brian to pray for. One thing is for certain though, Brian can ask his heavenly father tonight as to why all this had to happen to him. Again, that is something worth celebrating.

We who are left behind have a responsibility. Brian left behind his wife Dana, their three children and a heap of bills. As you may know, we’ve had a place where you could donate to Brian’s financial needs over the past 20 months. We’re going to keep that up a while longer. Dana has access to Brian’s paypal account and well, if you are willing, please send her some cash. Outside of the medical bills, there are needs such as car payments, roof repairs and other types of repairs that have been neglected over the past months. You’ll find the link to the paypal donation form in the right column of most pages on the site.

Dana, know that we loved your husband very much. He meant so much to us as a father figure, a hero, a mentor, a kind man, a man with a great sense of humor and a kind heart. I cannot express in words or deeds to you how much his influence meant to me and the others here on Tastyfresh.com. Our hearts go out to you and your children during this time. Your sorrow is our sorrow. Your loss is our loss. If you need anything, you need only to ask and I personally will do my best to get this community to help provide. We love you Dana because Brian did.