Ct scan results back in and it has spread up her spin allot and into her chest cavity within the last 2 months, she is still wanting to try some alternate treatments, but we were able to have a good talk tonight about things which was good but very hard, I very flawed am and feel like a truck has run over me, Jesus is carrying I know this but the pain is still increadible.

x2. I'm glad we had a chance to chat this morning. Prayers and thoughts go out to you and Cherie.

Hey all, things are not still going real well, Cherie is really struggling to get around at all, and over the past 4 days her mouth has slowley started to go numb starting from her jaw now into her lip this is unexplained the only think that I pray it is, is one of her natural medications is reacting with something, so I have told her to stop taking this new thing she started a couple of weks ago. She is freaking out cause one of her friends that passed away a few years ago with the same cancer had problems with a numb mouth before she passed away. Her pain is still not totally under control even though it has been increased dramatically, so she is going to see palative care Doctors this week and try to sort it out, but increase of morphine means she is going to be more out to it. I am still getting a lot of external pressure and stress from outside persons and trying not to take it on board but it is personal and it effects me, but it is tiny compared to what Cherie is going through. God is the only one that has control over this so please pray what ever He has planned to act apon it soon, also to take away cheries pain and her mouth comes good.

God Bless

Carl

Hey all just a quick update, Cherie is back in hospital with back problems she mis judged the lowness of a seat and droped into it and did some damage but they are not sure what she has done and are doing more scans today, also after going to the dentist he found no bad teeth so they are doing the scans of her heas as well. Things are getting pretty tough.

Got the MRI results back today and they were not good they were only taken of her spine and they showed that the T12 and N1 had significant growth with tumours, there is a tumour on the nerves surrounding the spinal chord and we dont know how much time that will take to press on the spinal cord and cut off feelings to her lower body, they still can not find an infection and they are speculating it could be in her lungs, but good she is coming home tomorrow and we will take it from there. The stress is taking its toll and I side swiped another car in the work van today from not concentrating, its getting really tough and Im not sure where to turn or what to do , I know God is by my side and carrying Cherie and I but the stress and pain of this all gets way to much sometimes.

Pray that God does what he needs to do and stop all this pain and suffering with Cherie please

x2 

Hey all Cherie is still going down hill she is in palative care now on a morphine pump and the levels are increasing all the time, she started another alternate treatment today which I am pretty stressed about because her parents did the research and they said no side effects but when I did it I found some pretty major ones so I decided not to administer it to her as I do not want to be responsible for any more suffering plus it is illegal in our state so there is a whole legal side to it as well. SHe wants to go a head with it so her father is giving it to her, but of coarse you can imagine the tension now. I am at the stage now where I want the Lord  to take her home without any more suffering and pain so can you pray so too, pray for my sanity to please as each day gets harder and harder. GOD BLESS Carl

Carl, I know it's not quite the same, but when I was 16, my mom was going through a similar time with cervical cancer. At this stage, she was experiencing great levels of dementia and did not recognize most people other than myself and her husband (my step-dad). My sister was 5 at the time and my mom just said "Oh look at that pretty little girl" to her. This really hit all of us hard.

I bring this up because I was feeling the same way about her. She knew the Lord and had made peace with everybody she had wronged in her life. I was tired of praying for God to heal her, because it was evident that this was not in His plan. He was bringing her home no matter how much we begged Him to let her stay. It was His mercy that welcomed her home and spared her suffering any further. I brought myself to a point where I knew that it was best for her to leave and my prayers then became similar to yours now.

It's not easy to accept or even think of accepting this as the best outcome. I am praying with you during this time for strength, patience, understanding, peace, and ease of mind.