Hey "dads" ...My 5 yr old is starting to feel , i dont know, out of the loop maybe? Heres some of the scenario. He's 5, has a 3yr old sister. I work nights 4pm - 2:30am. We home school, i do morning school work with him, my wife does some review at night. There were literally two other boys his age at church, one moved to seattle last yr, the other is this genious prodigy that has zero human compassion(a brainiac but a wild dog with other kids).So he's grown a disliking to him from breaking and rampaging his room when he has come over.  Other boys who are older dont give him the time of day in church.  The LEAH homeschool group we belong to, he is the only boy amongst 7-9 girls.  We have a friend in another playgroup(from our old church) who invited my son to come and participate) So when i show up and try to introduce my son to other children(via their moms) one of the church "elders" gives the old "married man talking to another married woman " attitude and my son picks up on this and goes intravert. (BTW, it also happens to be the same elder who claimed they had no place for my son(a child) at the church cause 3yr olds(meaning the day they turn) dont belong in the toddler room and if he cant adjust "there is NO place for him".

Now me working nights, throws a wrench in, because most common activities are happening during the evening and i'm in the minority of guys my age at church much less with kids.  So recently my 5 yr old(yes i understand he is only 5) BUT he's going through some withdrawal and has said things like "daddy doesn't love me"   He's wanting dolls like his sister(no biggie, yea i had ONE ) and wants to wear his sisters clothes .  SO i'm looking for some activities that other fathers have used for some really special father son guy time. Not just the football, catch, walk, out to eat thing.  My wife works mornings, so anywhere Jadon and i go, little sister isn't far behind. Growing up, my dad was in the navy, on subs most of the time.  So i have a hard time remembering my early yrs with him...cause there wasn't much aside from the drunken sailor poker parties. Just maybe some suggestions. We have only my wifes parents here(not really a family relationship, and they buy excessive amounts of junk for the kids) and we're kind of far from other people in the body. Getting home at 3am takes a toll having to get up at 7am when the wife leaves. IDK, Its hard trying to be a dad when you feel like a zombie half the morning.  And trying to find things on the internet has been awful, lately. Just dont use it much. And i didnt know if i should put this in 'chillout' or 'here'.  He is our miracle baby and he's just growing up too darn fast.  IDK, maybe pray my time is set aside more for one on one with him, or an oppotunity arises were we can bond on a higher level. Oh Lord i need wisdom...

thanks for listening
-m-

You're probably better off following hyp0static's advice about the elder. Mine involves vehicular homicide. "Christians" like that definitely bring out my un-Christ-like side.

I think what hyp0 suggested about time with your son is good, too. Even if it's just bringing him along when you run errands over the weekend. Maybe do things like have him carry something he can manage when you're at Home Depot or wherever or act like you need his help carrying something. Ask his opinion about something you're looking at buying (even if he doesn't really get understand what you're talking about or you don't follow his opinion, it still can help him feel like he matters).

Something that I'm still not good at with my 5yo son is realizing that it doesn't have to be something big to be meaningful to him. He just wants to feel important, loved, and needed. For me, doing the things like what I just mentioned, giving him lots of hugs, telling him I love him, (carefully) bodyslamming him on the sofa, and having tickle fights are the things that he loves and that make him feel loved.

Your situation is more complicated than mine because of the third shift thing (which is why I specifically mentioned weekends). I'll be praying for you. Just keep your eyes open even for seemingly insignificant times that you can interact with your son.

By the way, I think it's great that you're taking the step of asking for prayer and counsel. A lot of dads would want to look like they've got it all together. It shows that you've got your son interests in mind.

Very cool. Will be praying for more.