Every case is different, but I think a lot of it depends on how well you honestly know and understand yourself. That sounds like shrink talk, but honestly, when I look back at the women that I thought were great matches for me, I shake my head. "What was I thinking back then??"

Through understanding myself better and more honestly and through examining what I did and didn't like about the women I'd had--or wanted to have--romantic relationships with, I was able to know what I really wanted and needed in a mate. (I did this in the times when I wasn't pursuing or dating anyone because those are the only times that examination can be done without "love goggling".) By the time I met my wife, I knew a lot of what to look for. I lived freer and less stressed because I didn't see every woman I met as a potential love interest. Through becoming Denise's friend, I saw that she was the person that fit what I knew I wanted in a mate.

Within a month of dating her, I knew I wanted to marry her and told her so. We waited two more months to get officially engaged so that our parents wouldn't freak. 12.5 years later, I'm more convinced than ever that she's "the one".

I know all that doesn't sound terribly spiritual. Praying and seeking God's guidance are incredibly important too, and I did do that. However, IMO, the Bible says at least as much about asking God to give us wisdom as it does about God divinely dictating (in the dictation sense, not the dictator sense) His will to us. God gave me the wisdom to properly understand myself and to mature so that, when Denise came along, I recognized her for who she was.

praise God she broke up with the kid today! that is such an answer to prayer because he was a real jerk...
so know continues the journey of being her friend... i know it might be tough somedaze... but it,s all good right?

thanx again for everyones kind words and advice... u all rawk my world!

i don,t get it?

nuh uh!  I win.

well... i bring ur this dead thread... because well cindy was kinda right... my feeling for breanna never went away... i let go of her in the sence that i am ok with God saying no... however... all i am hearing from God is "wait... i'll tell you later"

if you read past this... welcome to the insanity that is me... LOL

and so i spent this past weekend with her and some other friends... monday (may 28th) was a year since the bonfire that i started liking her... a year of her and i getting to know each other... so we decided to do something just cause i thought that was kewl that we were gonna see each other... and since i am planning our 3 weeks of concerts and fun in june i told her if she wanted to do something then she should plan it... so she kept it a secret... but because of other things her plans were thwarted (we were gonna watch the sunset on this 1 hill... but we didn't hookup until like 9pm) so she improvised and we had phun :-) and on the way back to our friends house it got complicated... she brought up something and we kept bouncing off off subjects and we ended up having anotehr talk.. and i broke it down simple... she doesn't think we will ever be together.. .she doesn't like me like that... and so after a long talk were we both cried some... we separated for a few minues... went downstairs to pack up my stuff and see how she was doing.. and we spent like 2 hours chillin like friends... it ended cause we needed sleep...

so my friends... i ask for this 1 simple thing... that u pray that i keep seeking God on this and keep asking Him to make it very clear to me if it is a no... and in the meantime that i just forget about it and focus on growing in God and ministry... and that i can be her friend without trying to force anything...

i keep crying cause it is so hard to just be like.. ok... she doesn,t like me... get over it... but u know... yeah...

Greg, this is going to sound harsh, but I think the best thing that you can do is write it off (romantically) with this girl. If she someday comes back to you and is interested, it is a wonderful surprise. However, in the meantime, you won't be driving yourself nuts analyzing, translating, and examining in excruciating detail every word she speaks, every look, every move she makes hoping to read something encouraging in it. You'll take a ton of pressure off and save yourself lots of anguish and false hopes.

I've been on both sides (the analyzing and the writing off). The writing off sucks, but it's a whole lot less painful in the long run.