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dj_glow
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« on: April 28, 2007, 10:32:35 AM »

so how does a d00d get out of the friend zone?  or does it just happen if it happens?
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Davo
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« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2007, 10:54:43 AM »

so how does a d00d get out of the friend zone?  or does it just happen if it happens?

you just call kneesh on the phone and say, "YO!  i wanna be your boyfriend" and then hang up really quickly  smiley8



seriously,though: ask her out. on a date.   quickly.  being in the friend zone is a dangerous place to be, my friend.  girls don't get it. they think they can treat you like another girlfriend and share their secrets & get close to you without it having an effect.  well, 95% of the time, it has an effect....
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« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2007, 12:23:02 PM »

Its either that, or you'll get the: "I think of you more as a brother..."
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« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2007, 03:36:03 PM »

yea thats the "yea im not at all atracted to you and cant think of a nicer way of putting it response
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dj_glow
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« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2007, 06:53:32 PM »

thanx guyz... i,ve asked her out a few times... well actually never asked her on a date... hmm..
but rightn ow is not a good time.. crazy situation going on...
actually please pray for her especially on monday...
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« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2007, 07:36:01 PM »

Will pray.

But as far as "getting out of the friend zone" well, only you can read the vibe that's currently between you two. But seriously, the best way is to just straight up ask her on a date. Sometimes girls have NO IDEA you have an interest in them.

And I hear the "you're more of a brother thing". I get that ALL the time (except sister  Tongue)
and personally, I think it's one of the dumbest excuses out there. Wouldn't you WANT to date someone who you feel mega tight with? Who you feel safe to share everything with? Who you trust?

So yeah, I guess the "brother" or "sister" syndrom is more of a "I'm just not attracted to you."
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« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2007, 07:44:31 PM »

yea i personally think its the most rediculous thing ever when someone says "no i couldnt go out with you, we are too good of friends..."

THATS WHY YOU SHOULD BE TOGETHER!!!

i think you should marry your best friend... it only MAKES SENSE!!!

all in all its always just an excuse to cop out, and "try not to hurt your feelings"

that crap pisses me off something fierce...
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« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2007, 09:07:35 PM »

so how does a d00d get out of the friend zone?  or does it just happen if it happens?

when I first read the title, I didn't know what you were talking about.

believe it or not, I actually went through that, girl I grew up with was like "I'm too good friends with you and if we broke up, I wouldnt want that to happen."  Of course it was never meant to be, once I graduated and started working, kinda lost contact.
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« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2007, 06:14:17 AM »




i think you should marry your best friend... it only MAKES SENSE!!!


oh really? :p lol

yes...see ok. depending on the girl...some girls have had a lot of guys who appeared to be interested in them and then just totally got blown off by them when they went all vulnerable and * ok so whast going on here* on them, so they just start to think that every guy views her as the best friend and so she really just doesnt get it.
ahem. i would know. im the kind of girl that guys would have over for poker games and drink beer with and ask for advice on how to talk to girls. except i dont drink beer. or play poker.

the friend zone sucks. its frusterating. and sometimes i think its best to cut ties with a person if you have strong feelings for them and they arent reciprocated. and sometimes the best thing to do is to let go.....i mean you can only pursue so much. of course then theres the whole....what? hes not after me anymore? now i want him....thing.
THAT bites. but of course then sometimes you shouldnt let go...i dont know. im bad at that sort of thing...:S im sorry greg but if you are talking about who i think you are talking about......:/ it seems to me that in this case you are stuck there..and frankly dude...you deserve more than that.
look at this way. i was in that situation with my friend pretty much. remember him? the one you met? yeah. it made me miserable and to be honest im still kinda bitter and i can be a WITCH with him and i really shoulda just totally cut ties with him and then i wouldnt have felt so .....rageful towards him? lol. this is so pm material but whatever.

ahhh love. its...well its a word that the forum will filter out.
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women are definitly difficult. men are just as bad tho. they complicate our difficultness.
dj_glow
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« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2007, 07:57:38 AM »


And I hear the "you're more of a brother thing". I get that ALL the time (except sister  Tongue)
and personally, I think it's one of the dumbest excuses out there. Wouldn't you WANT to date someone who you feel mega tight with? Who you feel safe to share everything with? Who you trust?


yea i personally think its the most rediculous thing ever when someone says "no i couldnt go out with you, we are too good of friends..."

THATS WHY YOU SHOULD BE TOGETHER!!!

i think you should marry your best friend... it only MAKES SENSE!!!

all in all its always just an excuse to cop out, and "try not to hurt your feelings"

that crap pisses me off something fierce...

TOTALLY AGREE!!!

i think part of the problem is that i have hit that maturity and i am looking to be committed to a gurl... i found out lastnite thru another issue i am helping her with (trying to mentor her/protect her from guys she meets on the internet) (yes she brought me into it and i care to much not to help... it sux)... i found out that right now in her life she is dating around to have phun.... no commitment... so i think my willingness to commit scares her...
and yes kneesha it is the gurl that u r thinking of... i have not let go of her... and she is 18... so i,m sure she is not mature enough yet... but w0w... she is so much of what i have been looking for.. and honestly i care about her more than any other gurl besides karissa (my ex gurlfriend who is now married to heldbywill) Smiley

i think i need to let go... but i can't cut her out of my life... 1 thats not who i am... i am super close to several people in her family... 3 regardless of what happens we do share a special connection...

so yeah... thanx everyone for your responses...
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« Reply #10 on: April 29, 2007, 06:41:56 PM »

dpood honestly... you should probably move on... i know that sounds kinda harsh but if she is not iinterested in the kind of relationship you are, there will be alot  ALOT of misunderstand, and alot of feelings being hurt, and they will prolly be yours that arte getting hurt. I understand her reasoning that she is 18 and doesnt want to settle down... heck i was petrified of getting in a serious relationship when i was that age... lert the relationship be what it is now... a great friendship. if she says she doesnt want to go out, leave it there because ifg she ever does want to be with you, SHE will let you know because you already let her know you are interwsted...
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« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2007, 07:07:37 AM »

so how does a d00d get out of the friend zone?  or does it just happen if it happens?

For me, I've noticed, more often than not, that, if it happens, it just happens.  Neither me nor the other party has to "try" to do anything.  It's a mutual "wanting to be with them" sort of thing.  That's how it went with the current boy and my last serious boy. 

Friendship is absolutely paramount.  And, personally, I DON'T like it when a guy actively pursues me.  I also don't like it when a guy is friends with me, with ulterior motives.  I know people like to have things out in the open and know what's going on, but, trust me....  if there's attraction, it'll be out in the open before long. 

The less one tries to make things happen, the more they'll happen the way they should.
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dj_glow
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« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2007, 07:19:37 AM »

The less one tries to make things happen, the more they'll happen the way they should.

u r very wise Smiley thanx
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« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2007, 09:01:05 AM »

I was the King of the Land of Just Friends. My reign lasted from around 1982 to 1993.

Women that refused to date me often told me what a great husband I'd make and how lucky my future wife would be. (The female version of the ole "there's girls you date, and there's girls you marry" kind of logic guys use.)

I got so used to the JF speech that I actually could successfully remain JF with those women. Which typically disturbed the women in question. But I came to a point in life where I decided that I'd give it a shot, if she said she wasn't interested, it was up to her to approach me if she ever changed her mind.

I put myself through much less heart ache that way, and in 1993, I met a woman who became my best friend. We got married a year later. Now, I'm glad for all those JF speeches because none of those other women can hold a candle to my wife. (And that's not just a bunch of married guy brainwashing talk. I am SO glad that every relationship before her never launched or crashed and burned... including the woman that I originally wanted to marry. But that's a story for another day. Wink)
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« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2007, 09:23:53 AM »

The less one tries to make things happen, the more they'll happen the way they should.

u r very wise Smiley thanx

x2
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