Hey 404! My prayers go out to you and some encouragement too. You are an incredibibly talented and passionate person. I have seen you take on many projects and really strive to make them happen.
I would say stay focused! You have alot of great ideas and maybe you need a clearer more defined vision. I would also suggest talking to a trained Christian counselor who can help you see areas where you are stuck. We all have blind spots and thats where we need others to help us navigate along the staright and narrow.
You are doing the right thing by reaching out with prayer.

My prayer is that you would see those areas you don't see and God would illuminate you with wisdom and underdstanding and put the right people and resources that you need along your path.

Hang in there brotha-man! You are on your way to some great things soon and I know that God is molding & shapig you for some awesome things...who knows maybe in California.

Hey 404, I am in with them, you have done a lot for me too. And don't forget all that God is going to do through your life in the ways you will never see. Hebrew 11...let it encourage you. love ya man!

You can add this to the list of things that are bothering me:
http://www.tastyfresh.com/component/option,com_smf/Itemid,97/topic,6027.0

I was booked to do this and all of a sudden without any email or phone call, I was dropped and accused of not being interested enough. I have a spectacular email that cuts to my heart and hurts me deeply.

HUN!!!?  Ok I think you 2 need to explain this, if not on this theard but in a p.m. please?

It's cool

 

i have two thoughts:

1) read about the multitude of godly people in the Bible. following God is not a guarantee that your life will be abundantly overflowing with success or circumstances that will make you happy. if anything, Christianity is a wake up call that life is a lot harder than you think it is. the path is wide that leads to destruction but the doorway to godliness is narrow. a lot of people in the Bible did nothing wrong but loved God with all their hearts and were cursed with disease, failure, ridiculed, thrown in prison or even killed for doing so. and, we all are sinners, so God uses situations to purify our hearts and prepare us for whatever He will bring into our lives at a later date. ultimately, it's all a journey towards becoming more like Christ. our successes in the world mean nothing. i am not judging you, but we all have a tendency to lose focus sometimes. the greatest man of all, the Lord Jesus Christ, suffered more things that He did not deserve than any of us could ever imagine. i doubt that any one in His day would've looked at Him and thought that He was living the "good life", but what's probably the issue is our perception of what is "good". God's ways are higher than our ways. if He is allowing things to happen, they are definitely because a) He loves you and b) He has a purpose to change you and change others through the circumstances that you face
the joy of the Lord is your strength. maybe God wants to challenge you on what you are truly basing your happiness upon. is He the source of your joy? maybe, maybe not. only you and He know. all i'm saying here, is that there is a purpose in the trial. stay in it. persevere. let God be your strength in the midst of your weakness. His glory shines even more evidently in those moments.

2) as you know, God is sovereign. we can't (or shouldn't) try to force things to happen. what is of man will fail, but what is of God can not fail. throw down your ideas, your plans, and your concepts of what things 'should be like' on the altar. maybe God has an entirely different plan for your life. maybe success as a dj would be the silent killer of your walk with Him. or maybe you would be distracted from ministry opportunities to help others. or, maybe the timing is just wrong right now. i have no idea why, but perhaps now is the time to fast and pray and seek God's face on direction. and if you still don't know, then keep praying and do what you know to do that is good. think about david, about joseph, about abraham to name just a few. look at the paths they took. there is no way that our human mind would say "oh yeah. that's logical that this leads to that. that's the way i would've done it too," but in hindsight, it all makes perfect sense, doesn't it? God doesn't need for us to understand why He is doing what He is doing - He only requires us to obey. look at all of those people, and how God used every single bit of their tribulations to minister to so many others and to change the hearts of these men. brokenness has a way of bringing us that much closer to God, humbling us so that we may be charged with even greater responsibilities for the Lord without destroying ourselves with our pride. trials temper the heart.

take courage brother. God is in all of what you have been through and is leading you through it. you have to walk through the valley to get to and from the mountain. may your inner man be strengthened. the just walk by faith and not by sight. we're all warring against the unseen powers of this world, but we're not alone in it. put on the armor of God. spend some time in the Word. get so full with His Word that it is overflowing - then you can speak to yourself in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. get built up on what God says about you and not what you say, or what the devil tries to make you believe. let God speak to you in prayer, He will show you what you need to do. ask Him to open the door that He wants you to walk through and close every other door. ask Him to make it obvious. He never lets me down when i pray this. it may take a while to get an answer, but even one word from Jesus is worth the wait. keep your eyes focused on the real prize - the calling of Christ, our real home with Him and His family. everything else will perish and fade away.

in Christ,
Suzi

i totally feel that. i've been in the hole before. all i can say is that while you may get really reallly low, God is still caring for you. i know that i'm way more appreciative of what God has given me because of the years that i had so little. also, it taught me to be faithful in giving to God, even if all i had to give was two mites. now that i have a little more, it hasn't left me, how everything that i have is dependent upon God, and it helps me not to forget giving to the body.

look at Job. that man was closer to God when it was over than when it began, and God allowed Job to go through it because He felt that Job could handle it and would honor God in it. there's something about brokenness that brings about a whole new level of worship. the days when i hit rock bottom, i truly realized how much i needed to depend on God and how there was nothing else that i could do but get on my knees. i have testimonies of days where i prayed fervently for a paycheck to come in the mail early because i was going to bounce checks for my bills otherwise, and He did that for me. it truly felt like a miracle because that really never happened except in those few instances. i could barely squeak by at that point and i saw God working in it. there have been times when i had to go to a church to get help with groceries & rent i was so low. i've bought groceries from the dollar store and clothes from thrift stores. i don't know what it's like to live in poverty, but i was probably only a step or two above that. if you need to make it work, you can find a way & God will provide. it doesn't take any kind of faith if you always have everything you need. maybe God wants you to understand that He is your Provider, everything that succeeds or fails is under His control. He knows what you need - just keep pursuing Him in prayer. He will help you to get those debts under control. Maybe you could seek a Christian credit counselor for some help as well.

keep on keeping on - don't give up. God cares for you more than the lilies of the field, more than the sparrows, all of creation He cares for.

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. " (Ephesians 3:14-20)