I am working on Quincy's clothing website, but I am going to be using a template that he is buying from this site: http://www.websitetemplates.name/webdesign-templates.php?category=84
Since I am not familiar with OS Commerce, I am in very unfamiliar waters and wanted to ask the live chat for some advice.  Below is one of the single most frustrating chats I have ever had. I really wanted to go off on this guy, but I kept my cool...I had some doozies to call him too....

Chat log from http://support.template-help.com/applet.php on October 17, 2006

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11:12:41 <dj404> I am on the verge of buying a template but I am wondering how to I make the template to be the template for my site? Also, I only have Frontpage 2002, will this be a problem?
11:14:43 <Walter> You ought to use the following programs for editing our templates: Flash MX, MX 2004 PRO - .fla files  Photoshop 7, CS, CS2 - .psd files  Dreamweaver MX, MX 2004 PRO (or FrontPage 2003)  - .html files as the best.
11:17:47 <dj404> I know that from the site, however I Have Photshop CS and Frontpage 2002. Is there a specific reason why the sites states FP 2003? Also, I am very new to OS Commerce. How to I make the template "work" on the OS Commerce store? is there a merge function or install template function in OS Commerce? 
11:18:51 <Walter> Fp 200 is not compatible
11:19:01 <dj404> 200? 
11:19:06 <Walter> 2002
11:19:11 <dj404> why not? 
11:19:29 <Walter> it's out of date
11:19:48 <dj404> specifically why? out of date is a throw away answer 
11:20:01 <dj404> is there a feature that 03 has that 02 does not? 
11:20:53 <Walter> contact  Microsoft   what 's the difference  between  Frontpage 2002 and Frontpage 2003
11:21:18 <dj404> so what you are saying is, you don't know and I possibly could use 02? 
11:21:29 <dj404> but you just don't know for sure? 
11:21:59 <Walter> frontpage 2002 will not work with our templates
11:23:21 <dj404> OK  can you recommend a  free WYSIWYG editor that WILL work with your templates? I can't afford to buy any software, especially after buying a template? 
11:23:30 <Walter> no
11:23:58 <dj404> Also, you never answered my other question? How do I make the template work with OS Commerce? 
11:24:20 <Walter> what  do you mean ?
11:24:29 <Walter>  You should install oscommerce on your server
11:24:35 <dj404> already did that 
11:24:49 <dj404> how do I make the template to be the "look" for os commerce? 
11:25:04 <dj404> how does it integrate with the template? 
11:25:05 <Walter> I don't understand
11:25:09 <Walter> please clarify
11:25:38 <dj404> I want the template to be the template for my OS Commerce site. How do I make that happen? 
11:26:03 <dj404> is there a merge function? is there an install template function? 
11:27:44 <dj404> For example: I use JOOMLA for another website. JOOMLA has it's default look, however there are templates out there that you can install from wiithin JOOMLA and make them to be the default template. Does OS Commerce do anything like that? If now HOW do I make the template work? 
11:28:48 <Walter> We don't provide joomla templates
11:29:58 <dj404> UGH! I Never said you did. I am asking how to make YOUR OS COMMERCE Templates work with the OS Commerce I have installed on my server. I just gave the JOOMLA stuff as an example to clarify like you said. 
11:31:17 <Walter> OsCommerce Templates are ready made solutions to use for on-line shops. Our osCommerce Template is actually a combination of osCommerce 2.2 (ready made on-line shop) provided by osCommerce.com and the original osCommerce design from TemplateMonster.com. OsCommerce is the ideal solution for those who want to start an on-line business of their own without spending lots of time and money on developing. It takes minutes to set it up and start working. To handle this
11:32:21 <dj404> OK, let me just ask you this before you give me another copy and paste answer: IS IT EASY FOR A BEGINNER TO USE? 
11:33:13 <Walter> Yes
11:33:14 <Walter> sure
11:35:17 <dj404> Well. I hope the support is better than this after I spend my money on your template because this was as little support as possible. Take Care. 



I still have no clue if this will actually work when Q buys a template.

You sure it's not you? I mean... how many times have you been misread on this site in the past month? Come on... yer using sentences here. We only have the attention span for words. 

Sounds almost like a freaking bot.

Stupid tech support snippits:

Me: Is the firepod a bebob device?
Presonus: uhhhh... huh... noo....
(correct answer= yes)


Instructions for a cheap harddrive enclosure
Step #4 Trust in Operation
(steps 1-3 were complete gibberish)

Me: I accidently deleted some files on an ibook, can you recommend some recovery software?
Applecare: uhh...  I think thats impossible, you'd be better off talking to an instore mac genius...
Mac Genius: That's completely impossible.
(files fully recovered with $50 program 2 hours later)

Letter from US Department of Treasury (summarized)
"You're account has a balance of $0, if you do not pay this ammount immeadiatly we will initiate a collection action."

Me: I'm trying to get the web scanning feature on my photosmart printer working.  I'm using firefox.
HP: ok, what version of windows are you using?
Me: I'm running linux.
HP: OH! because you are running linux I cannot help you.
Me: but it's a web based interface...
HP: the service requires windows... so I cannot help you as I would - have a good day!
(solution= I had to disable firefoxes popup blocker)

Data recovery technician: (cheerfully) How are you today?
Me: (as I hand over 300GB worth of toasted critical harddrives) I spent last night puking my guts out.

but...but...I JUST DID THAT YESTERDAY!