I've been following this thread a little and I really don't even know what to say.

I've got a 3 year old daughter and to think that anyone would do that to their daughter/son, makes me want to vomit. On top of that, you hear about these school shootings (especially the one with the Amish kids) and it's really enough to get me depressed, and I don't get depressed easily.

I will say this...and I'm not sure if it's biblical but I'm going to say it anyway...stay away from your father. Pray for him but stay away from him. At least for the time being. It sounds like to me that you're a little traumatized about this (as you should be) and not in the right frame of mind to deal with it? That part is pure speculation on my part. God gave us common sense and everything you're saying makes your father to be at the very least, disturbed and at worst, dangerous.

He obviously needs help, I'm just not sure if you're the one who should be doing it. At least right now. You say he makes you feel like your 10 years old and I'm no psychologist but I'm going to assume that in this situation, you ARE still 10 years old, at least emotionally. And a 10 year old girl should not be put in the situation of having to help her father. It should be the other way around.

I will pray for you. You asked us what we think (!), I would suggest that you get counseling on this. Find yourself a Christian counselor and talk this stuff out. Your mom isn't helping. I went to counseling after my father passed away years ago and it really helped. I fought it at the time but am so glad I did it. There's no shame in asking for help! And unfortunately, those of us on the board aren't professionals and although that doesn't discount our advice, I really would talk it out with either a counselor or your pastor. ASAP.

You guys are right & I had it in mind to pursue that, but with being out of town every other week for work, I haven't had time. I shouldn't be traveling anymore for a while, so I just called my church & left a VM about setting up counseling. They have an excellent program there and it's free.

I need to talk to my mom and set some boundaries with her about this thing with my dad. I am glad to have feedback from other people that I'm not just being paranoid about the way he acts towards me. At very least, she needs to understand that I'm not doing this to be mean to him, but because I am protecting myself. I need her to stop trying to give me guilt trips about the whole thing. I've learned in my walk that I can forgive someone but I don't have to have a relationship with them to do so. I don't have any feelings toward my dad other than fear and numbness. There is no hatred, no bitterness, but also not much love. Mostly sadness that he has created this situation and now I am being blamed for not talking to him.

At very least, she needs to understand that I'm not doing this to be mean to him, but because I am protecting myself. I here what your saying.

I need her to stop trying to give me guilt trips about the whole thing.  That may be the hardest thing to deal with.  I personal feel traped between my mom and first dad that she devorced.  It's kinda the fip flop where I chose to forgive my dad for things he did.  She does not like that I hang out with him.  So I know what you mean about the guilt trip thing.  She basicly hates my dad and cant forgive him.  But she never stoped us from seeing him over the years, so for her to want me to stop seeing him now is tough on me.  So I will be praying for your Dad, Mom and yourself.  Hang in thier.  God's grace.