Josh,

It's good that you feel you can put exactly how your feeling on here.

My first thought from what you posted was that maybe God doesn't want you to do anything with it but enjoy Djing as a Hobby.

What else do you enjoy that might calm you down? what other hobbies do you have that you enjoy?

For me I dont do anything other than music and video to the point I always take a laptop and controller keyboard albeit a tiny one where ever I go my hand baggage on flights is purely technology......

Praying for you hope you find some answers soon

H

I feel I need to say something because I have felt the same frustrations about my DJ career and expressed them many times here on TF. I think nothing ever got accomplished by me whining about it. If anything I probably became annoying to people. I don't know what changed or if anything changed. I still don't play out (often...Radiate was my first gig in a year and it was a free thing). The only opportunity I have to spin is on Cast The Fire and well, I made that happen myself.

In March, when I was going through the worst time in my life (Chemo, Radiation, throwing up, emotions all outta whack, etc), I made the choice to no longer bother about if this is God's will or not. That's human emotion trying to be spiritual. I decided that I was gonna pursue this no matter what, putting it in God's hands, and see where He would take me. He said in his word that he would bless the work of our hands. I am now in control of my stupid emotions and I am telling my body and my soul (emotional realm) who is in charge and what we are gonna do. If I get tired, I make the choice to rest or buck up and do what I need to do. I'm not gonna be silly and over work myself, but I know my limits and I can test them to see if I can go further to grow as a person. I know this seems like it has nothing to do with DJ'ing now, but it does on a deeper level. You take control of your emotions and focus on Christ, you will see things happen.

Your body and emotions want to tell you what's impossible, and Satan is real quick jump up and agree with that. He wants to steal your joy in Christ, so if you give him an inch of sadness and doubt, he will make it seem like endless miles of "I will never amount to anything. Why did God put me here? He doesn't love me. etc". Open a Bible and look up every verse that contain with the words "In Christ". Where the subject of the verse is, insert your name. Basically, you need to teach yourself who you are as a Christian. You are defeated. God wants you to enjoy life.

Spend time reading the Bible, praying and worshiping. Draw closer to Christ. It's amazing how hard it is to let bad things bother you when you are living your life in God's grace.